Single males are often the orphans of the nudist community. Men can be singles at a nudist venue for a number of reasons. They may single unmarried, married without a nudist practicing spouse, divorced, or widowed. Whatever the reason because of the actions of a few single men are often tainted as trolling for sexual partners rather than being true nudists. The plight of the single male nudist has been well chronicled, but on a couple recent visits to resort I found myself connecting with a couple of men who were there by themselves like me. In the course of conversation they got talking about how hard it can be for single men to fit in at a nudist camp/resort. We are often regarded with suspicion at nudist venues, some “upscale” resorts don’t even allow single men. Regardless the reason for being single, all of us tend to be lumped into one group. Recently while browsing the web site of one nudist park I came across one line in their FAQs on their website regarding welcoming singles.
“your behavior is your passport”
While I get what they mean, and men were not specifically mentioned, it was hard to not draw the implication you single males better behave. My first thought was “shouldn’t that be true for everyone at a nudist resort/campground?”
Last time I stayed overnight at a nudist campground I ended up in a kind off singles row. I bunch of us “single” guys were camped in a line. Now As a singe male in a social nudist situations, knowing the perception I usually interact with folks only if and when they indicate an interest in interaction. One of my biggest hesitations with pursuing social nuditywas the sense that as “single” black male i would come under extra scrutiny. So as not create any suspicion with couples or families I tend to just say only and then wait to be spoken to. Now I have had situations where couples and women have been very friendly and conversational and other times when interactions have been few and far between. So I always bring a good book and some magazines to read.
On this occasion it was a group of guys all in the same boat, so we readily shared greetings to make some connections. Over the course of several different conversations the men talked to me about how lonely it felt to come to a place where they could be not but have no one to interact with because they were ‘single’ males. One guy talked about bring along a female friend who just wasn’t into it and didn’t want to return. Another shared how trying to group dance with some other women created a problem for them and him. That was in his words him only negative experience. One other fellow talked about being extra friendly to everyone to find someone to hang out with. So what’s a single male to do?
Some folks say bring a female friend with you and introduce her to nudism. This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘friends with benefits.’ Others say if your spouse is not a nudist and won’t go to a nudist camp with you then don’t go. This leaves those folks to the mercy of the nudist purist who say if you aren’t social you aren’t a real nudist. Another perspective is to just buck up find a camp or resort that is accepting of singles, go, be yourself and enjoy. None of these is really a perfect solution. I believe unfortunately there really isn’t a perfect solution. There will always be trolls and people will always react to that as they should as the behavior can’t be ignored. I certainly don’t want to be hit on or see anyone get hit on. But unless more people in the nudist community think creatively about the situation of single males in a changing nudist world those of us finding ourselves in the predicament will have to make our way as best as we can being aware of the stigma while still being ourselves. If you are a single male nudist, share your experiences.