Last night I had a bit of a health scare. Something from years ago flared up, and its occurrence frightened me. But here’s the thing, I was able to step back and watch it. I credit that moment of still observation to my clothes free life and clothes free yoga practice, because in the past, when things like this have happened, I would skate over the issue or try to fix it with a quick pill or whatever. I’d attempt to muscle my way through. The removing of clothes has been a huge resource for me to tap into honesty and stillness, a willingness and commitment to be real with myself.
Last night I did a clothes free yoga practice at home. As the DVD was going, I noticed at first I was trying to muscle my way through, trying to be hard core and perfect. Then somewhere around the middle of the progression, the thought came, “Put your knee on the freakin’ floor.” And the second I did that, I sank into both ease and power. My spirit got still and I found my breath. I felt so beautiful and powerful in the adaptations (which I never feel when I’m in class at the studio in clothes, to be honest). I finished that clothes free yoga practice feeling whole and complete.
That came into play just moments later when I was washing the dishes and suddenly the shadow from my past flared up. Again, rather than mask it or ignore it, I paused and listened. Do you know what thought came up? “How can I take a knee in my life to heal and regain my power?” Yeah. I cried myself to sleep last night, but woke up this morning with a willingness to reassess my commitments. What do I need to do in order to support my health? I know that lack of sleep, stress and anxiety contribute to this flare. And so began an inquiry of what I must give up in order to support my wellness.
I am grateful for the practice of living clothes free, of cultivating a naked body and a naked soul, because these have been the vehicles to honesty and peace in my world. I don’t know that I would have tapped into all the gifts I’ve discovered these months without my clothes free life. At the moment I am sitting in the winds of that, nakedly and openly listening for the next steps.