Last night I had an amazing time being out with a small group of women and sharing from the heart. Every now and then, the group of us get together and catch up on the latest changes in our lives. In the past, I have talked about some things, but last night, I really opened up and talked about things I never thought I’d confess to others in all my life.
This level of openness I credit to my clothes free life for a number of reasons. Firstly, being willing to sit with myself and see my truth, rather than run away from it or ignore it, is due in large part to my practice of being clothes free. I find healing peace is letting my truth breathe.
Secondly, seeing myself clothes free and living my daily life clothes free has boosted my confidence. You know, I used to look in the mirror and think, “Yeah, I look OK, but as soon as I get those extra few pounds off and fix my hair and suck in my gut, that’s when I’ll really be there.” Now, I don’t place conditions on my beauty or awesomeness. I am wholly and completely beautiful and awesome right now, head to toe, inside and out. And that attitude is beginning to shift how I speak and share myself with others. It’s not, “I’ll be beautiful and great when I have my life together.” No, I’m beautiful, powerful and awesome right now even if I’m a hot mess, even when I make mistakes.
Thirdly, some of the things we, as a clothes free community, talk about with regards to public nudity laws and people’s reactions to our discussions of being clothes free or naked outside are actually helping me to be more mindful about how I share myself with others. We talk about some of the negative ramifications of being caught naked, including folks who immediately turn it into sex and impose upon others their sexual comments or images; shaming from family, friends or strangers; loss of jobs; incarceration and so forth. Being naked in heart is also a huge risk. Indeed, I had, perhaps a month ago, confided something in one woman, and she betrayed my confidence. In the same way that not everyone is ready to deal with clothes free life, some people don’t know how to respect or honor a naked heart. So, while I am feeling more powerful, confident and open about myself from my clothes free life, I’m also discerning more carefully when to take my soul’s clothes off and with whom to be naked in spirit.
Finally, having been clothes free in the presence of others now and seen how it can heal and inspire (see posts where I wrote about my mom and friend for instance), I am seeing how important it is to share openly and deeply, with discernment of course. I spent a lot of this year being secretive and closed off, worried about what people would think of me with regard to many aspects of my life. I just didn’t know who I could trust. But that hiding also made me feel hopeless and alone. Last night, in this trust circle, we women opened up to each other about some very intimate things on our hearts, and it was so healing and freeing to speak about our experiences. I was so freed up once I shared about things in my life, and it moved the others to hear me share. And I was incredibly touched and inspired by their bold and honest shares. We were so supportive of each other, and I left the gathering feeling free, empowered and grateful, and the others echoed similar sentiments.
This morning I feel refreshed and renewed after a night of healthy sharing with a great group women. It felt like our naked hearts spent hours at a clothes free spa just washing out, healing and being.