This post is part of the series Does my bum look big in skin?
Other posts in this series:
- Does my bum look big in skin:  My imaginary breasts
- You’d make a great naturist! Does my bum look big in skin? 
- Are naturists naive? – Does my bum look big in skin?  (Current)
My mate Emma thinks I’m a right idiot, becoming a naturist. If I put what she thinks into just one speech, it would go like this.
‘Liz, you are being so very naive. OK, so there you are all at the naturist club with no clothes on, and I know that you think you’re all feeling free and I’m sure that is what you’re personally doing, but it’s not what the men are doing and it’s not why they’re there.
‘The men are there because they want to see naked women. It’s what straight men do, any chance they get. It’ll never change. You’re being too trusting. You’re imagining everyone’s like you. But this naked world you’re describing isn’t normal. It could never exist’.
I don’t want to argue. But sometimes a disagreement pushes things right into your face that need to be there. Could she be right? Are naturist women just being naive?
What about this?
‘If I tell the event organiser that I’ve told a man a couple of times not to stare, that man should be told he’s not welcome here. And sadly, I guess the organisers have to do the speech at every event, reminding the men that staring’s not allowed’.
‘My problem is the men who stare at your breasts, or as you’re getting in and out of the pool. That is a huge deterrent as to why I don’t go very often’.
When I read both these statements online, I practically dropped my tea.
Writers of the above, something bad is happening to you. Here’s how you need to respond.
- Recognise that you are being exploited
- Go straight to the top. Find the organiser’s office, or the manager’s – right now. Tell them that what’s happening is making you feel unsafe.
- Then tell the organiser/manager that they need to sort this unpleasant problem out or you won’t be back.
- The, if they don’t sort it out, publicise the fact. Other naturists need to know and avoid the place. And you’ll need to be getting together with others to create some new and more enjoyable events to go to.
- Don’t visit again. You’re being told it’s safe to be naked there. But it isn’t.
The breaking of trust is a horrible thought, and a painful one. And ‘naive’ is a cruel word to use for what’s really a kind of innocence. But it’s innocence out of time, when you’ve grown up and need to have wised up.
Reading those women’s words made me angry and sad. Somehow, I still want naturism to be perfect. But it’s not. And I’m starting to see it’s naive to imagine otherwise.